Ah, the noteworthy National Days of March! Zero Discrimination Day, International Women’s Day, National Napping Day, Pi Day and the International Day of Happiness, each resonate for me. As we struggle to make sense of these harsh and uncertain times I’m drawn to our national I am In Control Day (March 30th). It led me to consider its multiple meanings; a lighthearted effort to remind people to re-focus and assert themselves, and perhaps it’s also a wish to prevail over the incomprehensible. As a therapist, I see the the ways that adults and children may strive to overcome anxiety and stressors by asserting control in ways that lead to further disregulation. These stressors are caused by many factors, and in a therapeutic setting, we seek to identify them and collaborate to create useful interventions to reduce disregulation and anxiety. Our goal is to recognize the limits of control, explore the origins of the need and to empower a client to choose adaptive coping skills. So, onward to April, and the national Find a Rainbow Day!

 … Read the rest “If only we were!”

Greetings from the other side of 2018! A new Solar and Lunar year have arrived, and many of us may celebrate multiple traditions within our families. February also recognizes the ongoing struggles and crusades for equity fought for by the likes of Martin Luther King, Octavia Butler, Angela Davis, Grace Lee Boggs, Simone Biles, Misty Copeland, descendants of Henrietta Lacks and more. Part of my task as a helping professional is to provide families and children with education and a healthy awareness of our different identities. In appropriating the WYSIWYG acronym in the above photo (by Camilo Jose Vergara 1970), the disparity between the children and their dolls highlight the subtle ways that (in)visibility continues to be a challenge even today.… Read the rest “WYSIWYG”

Once upon a time, an adoptee’s life was thought to begin when they were adopted; that love was enough, that belonging to a family was more important than one’s ethnic or racial identity, that if “adopted at birth” there would be no impact on a child; that separation from a birth mother/family/foster family and being placed in a permanent home would supersede that history. While not all adoptees consciously question or struggle with these themes, these are complex ideas that adoptees can wrestle with over a lifetime. I’ve often wondered what choices I’d have made if today’s support and resources had been available when I was a child/adolescent adoptee and an adoptive parent. Whether through educational and mental health resources, enjoying a peer experience of my ethnic identity, or by the support of a community of adoptive families, my early sense of self could have felt so different! My clinical goals with adoptees/families that I work with are unconditional acceptance, attunement, and connection with each person’s unique experience; to encourage the development of a healthy adoption narrative, and to help adoptive families to develop an educated, aware, and informed parenting perspective. While there is still much to learn and promote in the field of child welfare, adoption practices and the many layers of identity that are impacted by adoption, we now have the opportunity to learn and engage with our community in so many ways! I welcome you all to these fourth-quarter community opportunities.